i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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