She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
