Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My liver just had a heart attack.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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