is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize