On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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