And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
