in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I forget how to act sober
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
