the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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