Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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