so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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