I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize