clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
