We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
