yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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