I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
