: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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