Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
