if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
