3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
