I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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