I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
