she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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