he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
