just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
