It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
