dude i'm inner monologue high
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
