alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
