I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Acid is not a monday night drug
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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