I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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