Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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