I faked an abortion last night.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
