I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
