she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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