I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
