Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
