I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
