Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
