We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
