Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
