Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
