Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
