yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize