if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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