I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
