Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
