you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
