you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
