he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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