If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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