You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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