i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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