I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
