Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
