Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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