Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
