...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
