just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
