At least make sure they are 18
Why
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
