do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize