you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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