thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
