she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Boobs are out for the taking
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
